Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
–T.S. Eliot, “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock
I’ve wanted to start a blog for years.
The idea of sharing my ideas with other people appeals to me. The chance to put into writing the things that matter most to me, to open up about thoughts and concepts that shape who I am and how I see the world feels like the chance to glimpse the sunlight after you’ve spent far too long huddling in darkness.
And yet, I haven’t started–until today.
I think, deep down, I was afraid. What if no one cares about what I have to say? What if people criticize me, dislike me, look down on me? What if they think I’m a bad writer? What if they’re right?
The poem I quoted above is the inner monologue of someone who felt exactly the same way. What if, Prufrock wonders, I upset the natural order of things by talking about things that are deep and meaningful? Will I change the world?
Or will they laugh at me and dismiss me as irrelevant?
Ultimately, Prufrock resigns himself to the status quo. “I am not Prince Hamlet,” he decides. He is not the one who makes the speeches. He’s just another nobody, like an extra in a play, the character nobody even notices.
But I don’t want to be an extra in the play that is my life. I don’t want to be the person who never accomplishes anything because she is too afraid to step outside of her comfort zone. I don’t want to look back at the end of my life and regret all the missed opportunities I was too afraid to seize hold of.
I want to dare to disturb the universe, even if no one cares, even if no one is listening. Because when I dare to step outside my comfort zone, the universe I am changing is my own.
And that’s a risk worth taking.
“Dare to take the life you want in your own two hands and do not let it go, do you hear me?”
–Deanna Raybourn, Silent on the Moor
Is fear holding you back from something you want to do? Let me know in the comments!